Monday, July 6, 2009
From Chigger Bites to Scared of Life
I have two lovely chigger bites on my left ass cheek. They itch and it is inappropriate to scratch my behind in public. My MRI on my right knee shows that my knee is full of tears and three different kinds of cysts- Baker's, synoptic, and meniscus. I don't feel like looking all of these things up right now. I mean, I have lived with them for almost three years (or who knows, maybe longer) and I don't feel like it is a big deal. I just can't bend them all the way, and they hurt once in a while and I feel like I won't be able to have babies without extreme knee pain, and I get jealous of old people and young people alike who can squat and sit with their knees bent. OK, so maybe it is a big deal in my life, but it shouldn't be. Everyone I talk to has knee pain, it's just a way of life. Right? All I can do is wait and see. I've got an appointment with the Orthopedist two days after I get back from Jamaica, and hopefully it will all get better.
Speaking of Jamaica- I am leaving on Friday and it all feels so weird to me. I've never been out of the country and I know it's going to be good. But right now I am a bit anxious. I still haven't conquered taking blood pressure properly. Which ties into my entrance into the Nursing School. Today, one of the many things I did was go to Helen's Uniform shop to order the things FSU told me to buy. It was kind of fun. I felt like Harry Potter going to Diagon Ally to get all his Hogwarts' school supplies. There were three other girls from FSU getting fitted and asking the same questions I had in my head.
Do my shoes have to be bought from this store, can they be Reebok?... How many polo shirts do I really need to buy. If I have to wear them to class ever day I should at least buy two since I know I will get dark chocolate stains on it... Should I buy a new stethoscope that costs $118 compared to the $15 one that I bought... When will I get my freaking patches to put on my scrubs?
Actually, those were mostly my questions, but I couldn't help but wonder about what the future holds for me and those three other starry-eyed, scared shit-less, girls. Maybe the one with her mom and two younger sisters will become my best friend; we will study together and cry together, or maybe she will become my arch competitor. It is all very exciting and extremely scary for me.
I feel like I have a million and one things to say, nothing poetic or interesting really, but I figured it was time to write some words for the cyberspace world. I think I have been hiding from any sort of work or thinking. That is why my summer has been filled with reading Twilight, watching Heroes and True Blood, spending more money than ever necessary, and working a pretty straight forward job. It feels nice, other than the fact it makes me feel guilty to be using up my time not accomplishing anything. It's a break. I was tired of school and being alone, and now I am still tired of something, I just haven't figured it out yet.
And now I am tired of my emo thoughts. I think I will crank up the music and start packing now.
I'm adding pictures that I have recently taken with my new camera.