Monday, September 29, 2008


I just found out my grade for the first Anatomy and Physiology Lab practical that I took over a week ago. Amazingly I got a 97.56%, which I think it is pretty funny that they gave such a precise number. This is the way of a science teacher, I guess. This is an ok grade, I guess. Hehe. Actually, when I read that number, I said, "yesyesyesyes, Ha HAh!, I did it. I did it!" and then I slapped my face a little. I don't know what made me do this part. Maybe it was to wake myself up and out of this wonderful dream of acing my first anatomy exam, and all the other ones that I've taken so far.

Things just seem to work out for me some how. It's not as though I feel everything is easy. Nay nay. Just ask Mama about all the times I called her last week, crying because it was "all so hard". But after I have these moments of breaking down, I do what needs to be done, and with a lot of help from the family, everything ends up really nicely.

I have a hard time giving myself credit. I don't know why really. I know that I get a lot of help from people, and maybe that's why, but I also think that because I know I have to do these things, like study or clean up after myself or whatever it is, I don't deserve to take credit for it. It's just what I do. I know I'm not a genius, even if one of my professors tells me that this is the case. (She really doesn't know me. She just sees my grades and knows my mama, who really is a genius.) I know I was born too lucky for words to express. The family I have is amazing, and the outlook of life I was born with doesn't suck either, for which I credit my papa's genes. I'm also tall, so I get to see things from a higher point, which really makes a difference. Just kidding.

Abby, one of my roommates, has been saying lately that she doesn't like living with me because I'm too perfect and she can't be as good as me, or something like that. This is someone who is trying to get into nursing school (with the pressures of a dad telling her that if she doesn't get in, she has to live at home next year and go to school there), who works a couple days a week at the mall (which would drive me crazy, especially where she works because it is dark, there's bad, loud music and the ceilings are low- a claustrophobic's nightmare), and she's in a sorority. Plus this girl has many friends, and she manages to keep in touch with all of them throughout the week. I feel good about myself if I hang out with one friend in a week.

Even though I'm pretty darn proud to be who I am, I often times think I should be more like Abby. She has friends, she's making money, and she's doing relatively good in school. Sure I've got her beat in grades, but does that really matter in life? No, it doesn't. Of course, it can make it a hell of a lot easier to get into the nursing college.

I don't know where I've been going with all this gibber-jabber. I just wanted to talk about school and grades and what it all means. It's basically my whole life right now, which is really alright. It's actually a lot of fun, when it's not tearing me up from the inside out.

At least I can still watch new episodes of The Office.

I do love Jim and his sexy smile.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Interview and the Beat that Wouldn't Stop

Well I just got back from my interview for the International Medical Outreach. This was only my third formal interview I've ever had, and let me tell you, it was intimidating, nerve-racking, and maybe just a little bit of fun. I really was trying to be myself and to think quickly. I was determined to wow them with my intelligent, deep answers, but I guess that's not who I am because everything that came out was pretty silly, and not in the least intelligent. Formal interviews are so scary to me.
At this interview it was three seniors, who have all been on the trip before, sitting in front of me, judging every word I say, never smiling, asking tough questions, and making me sweat and giggle like a pig being tickled. (I guess I giggle even more when I'm nervous). The second question they asked me was about altruism, and Jesus God, I had to ask the interviewer what the freaking word meant.
So I write this to say that I don't have high expectations that I will be getting called back for a group interview. Oh well.

I've been super busy lately. I should be studying right this second. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to get everything done. I haven't made below an -A yet in college, and even though my focal point in this whole ordeal is not grades, it's still makes me worry to realize just how easy it would be for me to screw myself over by messing up my record.

The person above my room has, of recent, been either creating a rap cd or is playing a game that requires the same beat to be played for longer than thirty minutes at a time. Bum chick bumbum chick bum chick bumbum chick. Over and over again. Once in a while it will do an extra bumbumbum in there. I'm trying to be chill about it, but it's starting to drive me up the wall. I might go ask him what the hell he's doing.

I think it is my time to study some Lifespan Development. I've got my first exam tomorrow and I'm not that enthralled with this notion. I'm just praying it's going to be easier than I've been anticipating. It's my third test in the past week and I am bout ready for a break. Usually after taking a test I at least feel relieved that it's over, but lately I haven't even had time to feel that way. I have to focus on the next on. Really, if I think about it hard, which I'm not to keen on doing at the moment, this is more like real life than I'm used to. Life doesn't always give us breaks, even if we do feel deserving of one.

And the bum chick bumbumbum chick keeps going on.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

International Medical Outreach- My new Passion?

So tonight I've spent hours upon hours trying to create the perfect essays that will get me chosen to be apart of something called International Medical Outreach. It's basically a small-scale Doctor's Without Borders type program, except it's for pre-health students at FSU. They go to Jamaica, St. Vincent and Belize and do amazing things, even though they are just six or so students with basically no experience and two or three doctors leading the way. I have decided that I want to do this with a passion. I've only written two of the four essays, not because they are long and hard, but because they are short. I have a problem with writing down too much. My limit for each essay is 300 words, and like my mom said, "that's only half a blog". How am I supposed to tell strangers my background in 300 words? Well, I tried to do that very thing in the first essay. The second one wants to know why I'm interested in the program and how it relates to my future goals/interests in the health field. I don't think I did a very good job explaining this, but I gave it a shot.

So I'm going to post my essays, or what they are at this moment, right here for you to read, if you feel like being one wild and crazy guy (or woman, if you are one). If you have suggestions, or think they are both total pieces of crap, tell me about it. I know I've probably got some grammar issues. I'm not really sure how to do commas and semicolons and parentheses sometimes. I appreciate all the help I can get.
Here it goes...

My mom gave birth to me in our home in Tallahassee with the support of midwives, my papa, a group of good friends and family, and of course my three older siblings, although I have reason to believe they stayed out of my mama’s way. I tell you this because even though I can’t take credit for what happened that day, this beginning of my life tells a lot about who I am now.
I chose to go to a different kind of public high school; one with a population of two-hundred and thirty students and a tight nit group of teachers who love what they do. It was at this school that I met some of the most generous, creative, open, and loving people, and they quickly became a family to me.
During my high school career, I discovered that I have a true passion for playing the mandolin (who knew?), and have since started up a bluegrass/folk band. I also was involved with the Student Government Association and became the President during my senior year. I was active in the Drama Club all four years, the Dance Club where we got to create our own dances and perform them, and a Tai Chi class.
I graduated Valedictorian, (mind you my class size was only seventy-five), knowing that I wanted to be a nurse-midwife and that I would try with all my heart to make this world a little more cared for and loved.
I decided to come here for college with hopes of getting into the nursing program. So to cope with the huge community difference I applied for, and was accepted, into the Nursing Living and Learning Community, which turned out to be a great group of girls that are now my good friends and support.

I.M.O. is exactly the program that I have wanted to be apart of! Every ounce of my being wants to go to a place that is unlike the U.S.A., (which is fortunate in so many ways), to work hard, get a hands-on-experience, and share whatever it is that I have with people who really need medical help.
The moment I knew nursing was for me was when a man from the Maasai Warriors came to my school and told us about the need of medical attention in Africa. I thought about how prosperous we are here, and how it only makes sense that we go and help our brothers and sisters who are in need. I then realized that I could be the one making a difference. So even though it is my desire to focus on pregnancy and childbirth in my future career, this need to go and help others is what pushed me to choose a life in health care.
I appreciate my schooling and am thankful for it all, but I feel like I never do anything real with the knowledge I acquire, at least not yet. For the most part, my schooling has been from lectures and textbooks only. I’m ready to do something real! I don’t want to take a exam which only testes how good of a test-taker I am. I don’t want to write a paper that will be looked at once and thrown away. I want to help. I want to go to a beautiful land, with beautiful people who appreciate the small pleasures of life, and who can teach me things that aren’t taught about in textbooks. I want to be apart of a team of students and doctors who just wants to make a difference and who is actually doing it!

If you are interested, that picture really has nothing to do with this post. It's a photo taken of an organic farm in Belize. I just liked the look of it.