Thursday, August 21, 2008
Well, I'm here! I've made it to my very own (not counting my three roommates) apartment, complete with a full-on kitchen, my own room and bathroom (which I'm super happy about), creaking noises from my neighbors up above and a strong bass pounding through the ceiling. But I understand the need for music, oh, and the need to move around, which in these cheaply made apartments means I'm going to be hearing a lot of creaking. I'm not worried about these noises though. When I'm awake, they will become part of the background noise that our brains somehow can magically make seem to disappear and when I'm asleep, well, I'll stay that way.
This morning I was completely aware that once I packed up my clothes I was no longer going to be able to stay home. That's why I laid on the couch for hours, watching something that I can no longer remember what it was, thinking about how I was perfectly happy being a stay-at-home daughter, and why the heck should I move out and go to college when I've been perfectly happy doing nothing? Well logic got to me, or societies expectations did, and I went through my clothes, put the ones I like most in a trash bag and let myself except the fact that I can do this and it's going to happen even if I can't.
Mama, Daddy and I all meet at the new place, unloaded my bed, my desk, my mandolin, and a hell of a lot of other things. My favorite part was when I was in the kitchen, putting away my canned foods and new cooking utensils. My daddy was laid across the couch, his head resting on my mama's lap. Mama was looking at him with eyes full of love and possibly tears. I think they were whispering to each other, or maybe they were using telepathy because something was definitely being said between those two. Whatever it was, it filled me with emotion. Right then, as I was settling in my new home, my parents were settling with their togetherness. Last year when I moved out for the first time, my parents definitely got closer. Now they seem to hold hands all the time and they even stopped to kiss on the stairs of my new apartment like they were teenagers in love for the first time. Hehe. I love that they do that. I only wish that same kind of love for myself one day, because it sure hasn't happened yet.
So mama took me shopping and we got quite a lot of food and household items, which I am so very grateful to have. After mama left me I unpacked and listened to the Beatles White Album. The day really flew by for me. By the time I was half unpacked I was starving and figured it was time for me to create my first meal. I made the fast, simple, trusted meal of spaghetti, salad, and garlic toast. My stove and oven both performed beautifully and the food was good enough. Nothing like Mama makes, but I figure I'll have time to be more creative than a jar of tomato sauce, noodles, a simple salad and sliced bread toasted with butter and garlic powder.
There is so much I could mention about being on my own in this new place. Like the fact that my bathroom smells like plastic from my shower liner, or that I'm just using my dishwasher as a drying rack because truth is I like washing my own dishes. The walls in this place have been painted a billion and one times, and I can tell one of the last tenants had the walls a purple color. Now everything is white and bare, but that will change soon enough. I have a beautiful painting of a girl reading a book that I somehow got from my friend Robert's house for free. I didn't steal it, I promise, but Robert is never going to let me forget that his parents gave me this painting. So she is going to be on my wall. I have some other things that will go up, and since I love the feel of Mama's house, there will probably be some aprons hanging on my wall to emulate what I have grown up with.
Think I will go eat some frozen grapes and read Harry Potter now. I don't have a TV, although I did find out today that cable comes with the apartment. The idea of having a TV in my room is pretty tempting. I can picture myself coming home from school and turning on Project Runway as I eat leftover pizza on my bed. That does sound awfully nice, but I'm sure I'll get a ton more done without a TV. So, no Jessie, you can't have one in your room.
I'm a happy girl. It's been an emotional week, but I think it's all going to be really good. Really good.