Monday, February 2, 2009
Emotional Rant- You've been warned.
How can someone break your heart when you weren't even in love with him?
I don't understand, but it probably wouldn't help if I did anyways.
When I saw him in the room full of people I love, my heart started pumping so fast and hard, I think it was trying to spring out of my chest so it could beat him up.
"Let me at 'em", my heart was saying to me. "Let me show him what he did to us."
I'm not mad that I saw him tonight; it had to happen sooner or later. In fact, I secretly have been wishing to see him, but it definitely did not do for me what I wanted it too. The last time I was with him we were still a couple and I kissed him goodbye. That must be why tonight was so difficult for me. He didn't even say hello to me when I walked in, he looked at me once the whole night, and I know this because I couldn't help but stare at him. He looked a bit haggard and I wonder if I had something to do with that, or if it was just too much partying the night before. Selfishly, I hope it was me.
If I was an angry person, I would be so pissed off at him for showing up to my sister's house, knowing perfectly well that I was probably going to be there, and yet, I'm not angry, just teary-eyed and tired. I feel weak for wishing that he would realize he made a mistake and ask for me back, but since that's not going to happen, I should study some Anatomy and microbiology, because I have those tests on Wednesday and I can't just ignore that part of my life, although I desperately want too right now.
Anyway, I'm quite fine and normal I would say. Just hoping for some lighter days ahead.
On a lighter note, I was watching the news tonight and saw that picture of the world's greatest super hero champion swimmer, Michael Phelps, taking a hit from a bong, and it made me happy. Even the greatest Olympian of the world smokes weed. Let's think about that one for a moment. Aww, the irony of it all.