Tuesday, January 13, 2009

This is not a poem.

My first poem for my fancy college poetry class is due tomorrow. Truth be told, the class isn't really fancy, nor does it feel like a college class. My teacher is twenty-four years old, and curses like he's one of my family members. What's up with that? The odd thing is, he's probably going to be one of the best teachers I have at FSU. He's enthusiastic about teaching, he wants to hear what his students have to say, and he gets us involved. What more could I want?
Well, what I would like is some direction is this freaking poem that I have to write and read out load to my fellow classmates tomorrow. I thought it would be quite simple and easy to write a poem about this time last year (or any other year around this time), but when I started writing, I realized that I've never written a poem without a structure outline or rules. That makes me feel a little sad about myself. I've never even finished writing a whole song, even though I've started many. I pretend to be an artist, but not for anybody but myself. The urge to be an artist is there, oh yes it certainly is, but I have never felt very successful.
I know I have my music, and for that I am very grateful, but I don't feel like I own it, if you know what I mean. In my family, I really have the least knowledge about it, it seems to effect me the least, and the truth is, I'm not a good listener. I don't even know the words to songs I've heard millions of times. Sometimes I'll be "singing" along to a song I know, and I realize I have never actually listened to the words. It really makes me sad, but then when I try to listen, I end up forgetting to listen and my mind wanders and I think about other things. And not important things, just stuff like, "What am I going to eat later? Man my lips are chapped. Why is that? I wish I didn't always have chapped lips. I should be thinking about other things. Gosh, I wish I was a deeper person..." And other silly, self-critizing crap.
Anyway, it's late and I really should get some sleep. Not to mention write that poem. Hah. I'm excited about tomorrow morning because I have to get up early for my first microbiology lab-we're going to be working with flames and Escherichia coli! That last statement was ment to be sarcastic, but now that I think about it, I really am kind of interested and excited. I like that hands-on stuff.
Wish me luck! I hope everyone that reads this, (meaning Mama, and maybe Hank and May) are all having very nice days.


Ms. Moon said...

It was so nice to see your blog come up in my Google Reader, sweet HoneyLuna.
I think you should post all your poems. If you want to. I would sure love to read them. If you want to share them.
And listen- I don't know the words of songs either. I don't think most people do. That does not mean you're not an artist. Jeez.
You play music, you dance through the world bringing sweet light and joyous smiles. Your very molecules shimmer to the music of your artistic soul.
I love you.

downtown guy said...

Don't feel bad. I know all the words but none of the notes. I can write poems all day, but I never could learn to roller skate.

Miss Maybelle said...

It's true, DTG knows all the words to all the songs. I know about five words to all the songs. Honey-Girl, you are an artist. Your very bones are poetry and you sing and play with angels on your forehead. I'm sure your poems are beautiful, even if you are not sure. Just write down some stuff and then cross out all the extraneous words. BAM! Done and done. I love you.

honeyluna said...

Thank you, my lovely family of geniuses. I really appreciate the words of kindness and ego-busting love.
So, Mama, I will try to post my poems, but really, that first one I wrote is a little bit too embarrassing, so I guess I shouldn't even read it to the class, huh? But I'll try to share some poems.

Brother Guy- I think writing poems for one day, all day would be really fun. You should try it one day. Maybe we should have a family day-long party of writing/sharing poems and eating yummy foods. Hehe.

Miss Maybelle- Thanks for the great advice. Have you ever thought about being a poetry professor? All you have to do is finish up college, get published a bunch or get your PHD and then BAM! There, I figured it out for you. Well actually, my teacher is a grad student, so you could do that too.

I love you!

Robin said...

Hey! There are other people reading this too! :) Hope the e coli was loads of fun!

honeyluna said...

Thanks Robin! I'm really happy to know that I have another reader. Although I am quite content with having just some of my family reading, I'm glad to share with others too.
And the e. coli was a lot of fun, thank you.