Tuesday, January 13, 2009
This is not a poem.
My first poem for my fancy college poetry class is due tomorrow. Truth be told, the class isn't really fancy, nor does it feel like a college class. My teacher is twenty-four years old, and curses like he's one of my family members. What's up with that? The odd thing is, he's probably going to be one of the best teachers I have at FSU. He's enthusiastic about teaching, he wants to hear what his students have to say, and he gets us involved. What more could I want?
Well, what I would like is some direction is this freaking poem that I have to write and read out load to my fellow classmates tomorrow. I thought it would be quite simple and easy to write a poem about this time last year (or any other year around this time), but when I started writing, I realized that I've never written a poem without a structure outline or rules. That makes me feel a little sad about myself. I've never even finished writing a whole song, even though I've started many. I pretend to be an artist, but not for anybody but myself. The urge to be an artist is there, oh yes it certainly is, but I have never felt very successful.
I know I have my music, and for that I am very grateful, but I don't feel like I own it, if you know what I mean. In my family, I really have the least knowledge about it, it seems to effect me the least, and the truth is, I'm not a good listener. I don't even know the words to songs I've heard millions of times. Sometimes I'll be "singing" along to a song I know, and I realize I have never actually listened to the words. It really makes me sad, but then when I try to listen, I end up forgetting to listen and my mind wanders and I think about other things. And not important things, just stuff like, "What am I going to eat later? Man my lips are chapped. Why is that? I wish I didn't always have chapped lips. I should be thinking about other things. Gosh, I wish I was a deeper person..." And other silly, self-critizing crap.
Anyway, it's late and I really should get some sleep. Not to mention write that poem. Hah. I'm excited about tomorrow morning because I have to get up early for my first microbiology lab-we're going to be working with flames and Escherichia coli! That last statement was ment to be sarcastic, but now that I think about it, I really am kind of interested and excited. I like that hands-on stuff.
Wish me luck! I hope everyone that reads this, (meaning Mama, and maybe Hank and May) are all having very nice days.