Halloween!

So it's Halloween night, and it's just me and Elephant, (who is my roommate Abby's new bunny rabbit whom she so nicely surprised me with yesterday) at the house tonight. I do have plans to go out with my new man tonight, and since I still need to take a shower and gussy myself up, then I guess I better make this short.
I really wanted to put my pumpkin picture up, which I carved on Monday. This means her face is caving in just a little bit, but I think she's still looking hot.
What do you think? I did not win the pumpkin carving contest that I did this for, but in the end, every time I look at her I get a smile on my face, which is as good, if not better, then the stupid beanbag chair that was given to the winner. Hehe, just kidding, it was a fine beanbag chair that I would have been proud to own.
Happy Halloween everyone!

This is Me Smiling

I just had such a great weekend. I really did not expect it to be as good as it was, since my four exams are on Wednesday and Thursday and usually this would weigh me way down, but somehow I put that aside and enjoyed these two school-less days more than any other days in quite a while. I did get some studying done, not as much as I really need, but I'm sure I will be ok.

Saturday night was amazing with it's rhythm and blues, older dancing hippies that are so fun to watch, late night talking, hay gathering, bat watching, contest spinning, cheesy-joke telling, and more giggling than one girl should ever be allowed to sound. My face is still sore from all the smiles produced last night. It was also the latest I've ever stayed up. I feel like a bad girl, but in the most innocent of ways.

Today was really nice too. I did something that pleases my soul- I played music with my friends and recorded a few songs to send off to The Florida Folk Festival. It's amazing to me that we actually did it in a few hours, and really, what we made was not all that bad given the lack of rehearsal and lack of good recording equipment. We ended up using the microphone on Stephanie's MacBook and using Garage Band to "mix" it. I use quotations here because for each song, we recorded only one track and added nothing. It's quite the bare bones recording. But it's something I'm pretty proud of. Thank god for MacBooks and their ease of use. I just hope it's good enough to get us a spot on the Folk Festival line up.

Oh, our band name is Cicada. What do you think?

Now it is my time to get stuff done. Take a shower, read tons of text books, and get sleep (my favorite of the three).

I just wanted to let you know that today, I am a happy girl. And it feels really nice.

What Are They Afraid Of?

I'm so pissed off. I came home from my 9 p.m. Anatomy Lab, rushing to catch this Vice Presidential Debate. Being that this is the first Presidential election that I can vote in, I've been trying to learn about the candidates and, even though it is something I don't necessarily like, I've been learning about politics.

So, I came home, turned on this debate, which is still going on as I write this, and watched for about thirty minutes up until both fucking vice presidential candidates agreed that they will never think of marriage as anything other than something between a woman and man. Sure Barack Obama and Joe Bidden will give rights to homosexual couples, and Palin said that the McCainies wouldn't take their rights away either, but no, they won't ever let them get married. I don't understand why they are so afraid of same-sex marriages. Who is this going to hurt? I really wish I could understand. No, I really wish they would understand.

And how many times can Palin say that she and John McCain are "mavericks"? I'm really quite tired of these people. Right now, I don't trust anyone. Yes, I want Obama to win. I actually have hope in my heart when I hear him speak, but I can't say if this is due to what he preaches or how he preaches. But I've decided that I really don't like politics in general. It's so much back and forward, "well I did this", "no, you didn't", "well you did this", "no that is not true".

And Joe Bidden can't pronounce "controversial" and Sarah Palin can't pronounce "nuclear". Did she not pay attention in her high school chemistry class? It's called a nucleus. Gawd.

Okay. Well, I'm not used to this much people-bashing. I have the habit of wanting to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, even if it does seem like everything they stand for is something I don't agree with. And I know that this gay marriage issue is a relatively small topic in this debate, compared to the massive economy fuck-ups and the war, but to me it's big. It's not just about gay marriage; it's about how these candidates view people that are unlike themselves. There is estimated to be 25 million gay people in the U.S. and if these candidates don't even respect and grant them the same freaking rights as themselves (if they are indeed straight candidates), well than I don't feel like I can completely trust their judgement on larger issues. It fills me with sadness that we are not a loving and open minded society.

To put it from a teenagers point of view- this sucks!

YesYesYes!

I just found out my grade for the first Anatomy and Physiology Lab practical that I took over a week ago. Amazingly I got a 97.56%, which I think it is pretty funny that they gave such a precise number. This is the way of a science teacher, I guess. This is an ok grade, I guess. Hehe. Actually, when I read that number, I said, "yesyesyesyes, Ha HAh!, I did it. I did it!" and then I slapped my face a little. I don't know what made me do this part. Maybe it was to wake myself up and out of this wonderful dream of acing my first anatomy exam, and all the other ones that I've taken so far.

Things just seem to work out for me some how. It's not as though I feel everything is easy. Nay nay. Just ask Mama about all the times I called her last week, crying because it was "all so hard". But after I have these moments of breaking down, I do what needs to be done, and with a lot of help from the family, everything ends up really nicely.

I have a hard time giving myself credit. I don't know why really. I know that I get a lot of help from people, and maybe that's why, but I also think that because I know I have to do these things, like study or clean up after myself or whatever it is, I don't deserve to take credit for it. It's just what I do. I know I'm not a genius, even if one of my professors tells me that this is the case. (She really doesn't know me. She just sees my grades and knows my mama, who really is a genius.) I know I was born too lucky for words to express. The family I have is amazing, and the outlook of life I was born with doesn't suck either, for which I credit my papa's genes. I'm also tall, so I get to see things from a higher point, which really makes a difference. Just kidding.

Abby, one of my roommates, has been saying lately that she doesn't like living with me because I'm too perfect and she can't be as good as me, or something like that. This is someone who is trying to get into nursing school (with the pressures of a dad telling her that if she doesn't get in, she has to live at home next year and go to school there), who works a couple days a week at the mall (which would drive me crazy, especially where she works because it is dark, there's bad, loud music and the ceilings are low- a claustrophobic's nightmare), and she's in a sorority. Plus this girl has many friends, and she manages to keep in touch with all of them throughout the week. I feel good about myself if I hang out with one friend in a week.

Even though I'm pretty darn proud to be who I am, I often times think I should be more like Abby. She has friends, she's making money, and she's doing relatively good in school. Sure I've got her beat in grades, but does that really matter in life? No, it doesn't. Of course, it can make it a hell of a lot easier to get into the nursing college.

I don't know where I've been going with all this gibber-jabber. I just wanted to talk about school and grades and what it all means. It's basically my whole life right now, which is really alright. It's actually a lot of fun, when it's not tearing me up from the inside out.

At least I can still watch new episodes of The Office.

I do love Jim and his sexy smile.

Interview and the Beat that Wouldn't Stop

Well I just got back from my interview for the International Medical Outreach. This was only my third formal interview I've ever had, and let me tell you, it was intimidating, nerve-racking, and maybe just a little bit of fun. I really was trying to be myself and to think quickly. I was determined to wow them with my intelligent, deep answers, but I guess that's not who I am because everything that came out was pretty silly, and not in the least intelligent. Formal interviews are so scary to me.
At this interview it was three seniors, who have all been on the trip before, sitting in front of me, judging every word I say, never smiling, asking tough questions, and making me sweat and giggle like a pig being tickled. (I guess I giggle even more when I'm nervous). The second question they asked me was about altruism, and Jesus God, I had to ask the interviewer what the freaking word meant.
So I write this to say that I don't have high expectations that I will be getting called back for a group interview. Oh well.

I've been super busy lately. I should be studying right this second. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to get everything done. I haven't made below an -A yet in college, and even though my focal point in this whole ordeal is not grades, it's still makes me worry to realize just how easy it would be for me to screw myself over by messing up my record.

The person above my room has, of recent, been either creating a rap cd or is playing a game that requires the same beat to be played for longer than thirty minutes at a time. Bum chick bumbum chick bum chick bumbum chick. Over and over again. Once in a while it will do an extra bumbumbum in there. I'm trying to be chill about it, but it's starting to drive me up the wall. I might go ask him what the hell he's doing.

I think it is my time to study some Lifespan Development. I've got my first exam tomorrow and I'm not that enthralled with this notion. I'm just praying it's going to be easier than I've been anticipating. It's my third test in the past week and I am bout ready for a break. Usually after taking a test I at least feel relieved that it's over, but lately I haven't even had time to feel that way. I have to focus on the next on. Really, if I think about it hard, which I'm not to keen on doing at the moment, this is more like real life than I'm used to. Life doesn't always give us breaks, even if we do feel deserving of one.

And the bum chick bumbumbum chick keeps going on.

International Medical Outreach- My new Passion?

So tonight I've spent hours upon hours trying to create the perfect essays that will get me chosen to be apart of something called International Medical Outreach. It's basically a small-scale Doctor's Without Borders type program, except it's for pre-health students at FSU. They go to Jamaica, St. Vincent and Belize and do amazing things, even though they are just six or so students with basically no experience and two or three doctors leading the way. I have decided that I want to do this with a passion. I've only written two of the four essays, not because they are long and hard, but because they are short. I have a problem with writing down too much. My limit for each essay is 300 words, and like my mom said, "that's only half a blog". How am I supposed to tell strangers my background in 300 words? Well, I tried to do that very thing in the first essay. The second one wants to know why I'm interested in the program and how it relates to my future goals/interests in the health field. I don't think I did a very good job explaining this, but I gave it a shot.

So I'm going to post my essays, or what they are at this moment, right here for you to read, if you feel like being one wild and crazy guy (or woman, if you are one). If you have suggestions, or think they are both total pieces of crap, tell me about it. I know I've probably got some grammar issues. I'm not really sure how to do commas and semicolons and parentheses sometimes. I appreciate all the help I can get.
Here it goes...

1.
My mom gave birth to me in our home in Tallahassee with the support of midwives, my papa, a group of good friends and family, and of course my three older siblings, although I have reason to believe they stayed out of my mama’s way. I tell you this because even though I can’t take credit for what happened that day, this beginning of my life tells a lot about who I am now.
I chose to go to a different kind of public high school; one with a population of two-hundred and thirty students and a tight nit group of teachers who love what they do. It was at this school that I met some of the most generous, creative, open, and loving people, and they quickly became a family to me.
During my high school career, I discovered that I have a true passion for playing the mandolin (who knew?), and have since started up a bluegrass/folk band. I also was involved with the Student Government Association and became the President during my senior year. I was active in the Drama Club all four years, the Dance Club where we got to create our own dances and perform them, and a Tai Chi class.
I graduated Valedictorian, (mind you my class size was only seventy-five), knowing that I wanted to be a nurse-midwife and that I would try with all my heart to make this world a little more cared for and loved.
I decided to come here for college with hopes of getting into the nursing program. So to cope with the huge community difference I applied for, and was accepted, into the Nursing Living and Learning Community, which turned out to be a great group of girls that are now my good friends and support.

2.
I.M.O. is exactly the program that I have wanted to be apart of! Every ounce of my being wants to go to a place that is unlike the U.S.A., (which is fortunate in so many ways), to work hard, get a hands-on-experience, and share whatever it is that I have with people who really need medical help.
The moment I knew nursing was for me was when a man from the Maasai Warriors came to my school and told us about the need of medical attention in Africa. I thought about how prosperous we are here, and how it only makes sense that we go and help our brothers and sisters who are in need. I then realized that I could be the one making a difference. So even though it is my desire to focus on pregnancy and childbirth in my future career, this need to go and help others is what pushed me to choose a life in health care.
I appreciate my schooling and am thankful for it all, but I feel like I never do anything real with the knowledge I acquire, at least not yet. For the most part, my schooling has been from lectures and textbooks only. I’m ready to do something real! I don’t want to take a exam which only testes how good of a test-taker I am. I don’t want to write a paper that will be looked at once and thrown away. I want to help. I want to go to a beautiful land, with beautiful people who appreciate the small pleasures of life, and who can teach me things that aren’t taught about in textbooks. I want to be apart of a team of students and doctors who just wants to make a difference and who is actually doing it!

If you are interested, that picture really has nothing to do with this post. It's a photo taken of an organic farm in Belize. I just liked the look of it.

It's all about the Wall

I came back to my apartment today from a day out with my mama, and what did I find but all three of my roommates (plus one cute Asian guy) painting the living room walls yellow and lime green. Wow! I knew that they were all wanting to paint the place, because they've been complaining about the whiteness since they've moved in, but I certainly wasn't expecting to come home today to find a totally different apartment. They also moved in a bunch more furniture and rearranged what we already had. It's pretty cool that these girls get something in there mind and actually follow through so quickly. It's making me realize how negative and inactive I really am. It's a fun thing to realize about oneself, for real.
For example, when they first told me that they were going to paint, what popped into my mind and eventually came out of my mouth was, "Who's going to be doing all this painting? Does anyone really know how to paint a house? It's going to be really hard to paint around all the doors, cabinets, outlets, and the refrigerator. And do you really want to paint it all white again when we move out in less than twelve months?" But I'll be damned if we all didn't just do it in two hours, which includes moving the fridge after Paige, one of the roomies, persuaded me that it could be done.
Now I'm the only one in my apartment that doesn't have her walls painted. And I must say that it's made me feel a little left out and behind. This feeling is not unfamiliar to me though. (I just realized that I could start talking about me feeling like I never fit in, but I've decided to spare you and me of that agony tonight.) Let's just stick to this decorating thing. So instead of painting my walls, which even after witnessing how easy it really is I'm still not convinced I need to do it, I've decided to put up lots of things up. This includes, but is not limited to...
a mermaid mirror my Aint Liz gave to me,
my happy, Mexican, paper flags,
a Maxfield Parrish calender,
a hanky my mama got at Goodwill,
a dry erase board that I keep my schedule and notes written on,
and a few paintings.
So I'm pretty content at the moment. At least have these few things up, right? There is still one wall of my room that is completely bare.
Do you have any ideas for my room? I'm open to any suggestions. Even if you say, "Hey Honeyluna, I think you should line one wall with a snake tank (say that ten times fast), and get yourself a boa constrictor as a pet." Although if you do suggest something such as this please don't expect me to follow through on your very thoughtful suggestion. Thanks and lots of love. -H to the Luna